Women who give up their children for adoption are years and years later talking about how painful it was, much more than women who have abortions.
In our culture, the shame about accidental pregnancy is inextricable from the shame about having had sex. That disapproval of sex is one reason our record with contraception is so poor. If you’re not supposed to be sexual, you don’t plan for sex. You cross your fingers and hope for the best.
A potential person is not a person, any more than an acorn is an oak tree. I don’t think women should have to give birth just because a sperm met an egg.
Here is the dirty little secret about anti-abortion violence: It works.
My mother had an illegal abortion in 1960, which was the year the birth control pill came out, but I guess a little late for her, but – and I never knew. I found out when my father, after her death, got her FBI file.
Sure, men like a challenge – but so do women. And nobody likes to be challenged all the time. I know plenty of long-standing happy couples who slept together right away, spent hours yakking on the phone, split checks down the middle, and lived together for years before the wedding.
Abortion opponents say women seek abortions in haste and confusion. Pro-choicers reply: Abortion is the most difficult, agonizing decision a woman ever makes.
I think women have the right to consult their own wishes, needs, and capacities and produce only loved, wanted children they can care for – or even no children at all. I think we would all be better off as a society if we respected women’s ability to make these decisions for themselves and concentrated on caring well for the born.
In the end, abortion is an issue of fundamental human rights. To force women to undergo pregnancy and childbirth against their will is to deprive them of the right to make basic decisions about their lives and well-being, and to give that power to the state.
The notion that female initiative is useless because men know what they want is particularly odd – most people don’t even know what they want for dinner.