Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.