I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven’t done.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.